We all belong to the “what’s next generation”. We sit behind our pcs at work and dream about the things we will do after work. We work but dream about the next holiday. At home we think about the next meal, the desert, the movie after. We run as fast as we can from the very present moment to go to the next. The imaginary, non existent, other moment.
When i was working in London I was dreaming of soon to have freedom in India. When I was by the beach in India I was dreaming about the simple ashram life. When I was at the ashram I dreamed about the beach. Now I am back at the beach I am finding myself thinking where do I go next.
It’s good to have plans and outlines in life. It’s good to know what you want. For sure. But taking a deep look inside us we realise that there is always the next move. The next dish. The next lover. The next job. Dress. Shoes. Holiday. Life.
And I am asking you. When is the N—O—W important!?! When the precious now is good enough to satisfy the thrust of the next adventure… The constant ran to the next moment.
And I can tell you when. It’s at those moments when someone looks you in the eyes and tells you “I LOVE YOU”. It’s when your baby looks you in the eyes and smiles. Or it’s when the pain of the presence is so strong that there is no other option but to feel it. Feel it now. So strongly that you wake up. And then what happens then. We fall asleep again. We slowly drift to the semi-wake land…again and again and again.
I often find myself eating a meal and thinking “I wished I had more” or “What shall I have next” or “what dessert”. I lose myself in options and I lose everything. I lose the sensations in my mouth. Those sensations which make me feel. Wow I am so lucky to be able to afford this meal. Those sensations that tell me this is so delicious. This is so enough right NOW.
But NO instead we choose to run. We chose to lose ourselves in the future or even contemplate how to have a BETTER past. As if it was possible…
I am working really really hard to be here right now. I wear most times no shoes. So I can feel. Every stone or hard object i step on makes me feel. Wakes me up. Brings me back to the present moment. To the now.
How to keep this I am not sure yet. How to keep this feeling when we walk in the busy street of big cities and tight shoes making our feet numb. I really don’t know. But maybe it all starts here with this single desire to feel. To be alive. To simply be.