Busy BE-e

I don’t know about your life but mine is in complete abundance of choices every day…And you know what i am not sure if this is a good thing :/.

Since I graduated and got my first job, life opened its horizons to my eyes and there came the choices. The choice for a better paid job or one at a well known company. A choice to be in a relationship or explore the city life solo. The choice to have a cheap flat or one in the centre…to chill or go partying. To walk or take the tube, to see my family or travel far to a new country…OMG i am telling you the list is ENDLESS.

For the past six months I thought that my life will be guided by simplicity and listening to my body language and heart…

I thought so and desperately hoped so. When I decided to quit my job and travel, all I was longing for simplicity….simplicity…simplicity. Staying at a place for days. Starting at the horizon and doing and even better thinking NO-THING. Guess what..It did not happen. Freedom of day-to-day responsibilities gave me very rare glances of simplicity.

Most of the time I found myself burdened with even more choices. Where to go for dinner. Tibetan or Indian. Travel or stay at the place longer…Get up for chanting the divine mother 1000 names at 4am or enjoying watching your guru until late at night….Seriously my life didn’t turn any simpler.

So for the last week, I realised something which was in front of my eyes the whole time, you will think. Yes. You don’t need to change your outer world to get simple. You don’t. You really do NOT. Aha so what then. Well, I don’t know.

I realised today that choices will always be there. But the decision to stick with simplicity is a hard choice on its own. You need to flick a coin or pick the first thing that comes to your mind and stick with it. I wrote earlier this year about consistency and persistence. It is that. We need to make a choice to make no more choices, to simplify our lives (and minds first yeah).

Rolling with life is so easy for some easy- going blokes. I wished it was the same for me. But it’s not. My mind keeps me always busy evaluating all the choices. And before I know it I am running from one end of the town to the other, only to check out and evaluate my choices. I am not kidding. When I used to live in London. I cycled everywhere. Sometimes my chronometer will show 40km in A single day, si si si. And i wasn’t even preparing for a charity ride, no no no.I promise you, most times I couldn’t say no. I will go from one place and then another to see friends, events, yoga classes, you name it.

But this gotta stop now. I am so so so tired of these choices. Tomorrow I embark on my first Vipassana retreat. Working on my crazy monkey mind. Saying no to choices. Starting the journey of the end of suffering. I made this decision some years back. And the ride hasn’t been easy. Choosing simple is not simple. It takes so much dedication. I am ready to take it on. See you on the other side. Come along…